No offense to any Neanderthals.

But The Beet-Eating Heeb, for one, might have to revise his assessment of Israel’s Rabbinical leadership.

On one issue that is near and dear to BEH’s heart, and probably to yours as well, the newly elected Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi of Israel recently made a very enlightened statement. And BEH is all for giving credit where credit is due.

Chief Rabbi Lau, after viewing televised footage of horrific abuses of animals at (yet another) kosher slaughterhouse, issued an unusually strong statement of condemnation.

His statement came in response to seeing chickens packed in filthy cages without food or water, writhing turkeys tossed into metal boxes with their throats cut, and several other forms of cruelty at a Soglowek slaughterhouse in Northern Israel.

“As a human being and as a Jew, I was shocked by the footage, by the brutal behavior of those employees toward helpless animals,” said Lau, according to Israel’s Ynet website. “Such things shouldn’t happen. The Torah forbids us to act in this way and obliges us to be extra vigilant with regard to animal welfare. We cannot remain silent in the face of such things. We will act firmly and sternly against this factory.”

The slaughterhouse, after a brief closure, has reopened. It remains to be seen whether Soglowek will improve its practices.

Nonetheless, Lau’s tough talk heartened The Beet-Eating Heeb for two reasons.

The rabbi specifically invoked “tzar baalei chaim,” the Jewish prohibition on inflicting unnecessary suffering on animals. He acknowledged the reality that the laws of kosher slaughter only apply to the last seconds of an animal’s life. What happens in the modern factory farm and during transport to the slaughterhouse typically involves multiple forms of cruelty, but is not governed by kashrut.

Second, Lau’s response to the Soglowek scandal stands out in vivid contrast to how America’s kashrut establishment has reacted to similar situations in U.S. slaughterhouses.

The most obvious example is the infamous Agriprocessors case, in which undercover investigators from 2004-2008 documented shocking cruelty at what was then the world’s largest glatt-kosher slaughterhouse. In response, the Orthodox Union, the country’s largest kosher-certification agency, repeatedly denied that anything was amiss.

Indeed, the Orthodox Union engaged in a public-relations campaign on behalf of Agriprocessors, essentially telling kosher consumers, and veterinary experts, not to believe what they were seeing with their own eyes.

Don’t take The Beet-Eating Heeb’s word for it, although you certainly can. Documentary evidence of the OU’s shenanigans can be found in the archives of the OU’s own Website.

Why would Orthodox rabbis bend over backwards to defend the perpetrators of cruelty?

BEH can answer in one word: Money.

The OU is the United States' largest certifier of kosher products. It’s a very big business. The amount of money that the OU collects from kosher certification is not available on Guidestar, but suffice it to say, the total amount has quite a few zeros.

Agriprocessors was the sordid intersection of the country’s largest slaughterhouse and largest kosher certifier. Compassion, ethics, and concern for animals didn’t stand much of a chance. Neither did Judaism or Jewish values, for that matter.

Mark BEH’s words. There will be another Agriprocessors. There will be another videotaped, well-documented case of heart-wrenching, stomach-turning cruelty at a large American kosher slaughterhouse.

After all, kosher slaughter in the modern, factory-farming era resembles an assembly line. Make that a disassembly line. The point is, the sheer volume of animals, and the rapid line speed of the slaughter, all but ensures that cruelty will occur.

We can only hope that next time, America’s Orthodox rabbinate will not sacrifice compassion on the altar of economic expediency.

(Was he the one who first said, “When it rains, it pours”?)

Ironically, while most people associate this story with the saving of animals in the Ark, it is in this particular Torah portion that God first gives humans permission to kill animals for food.

Yup, the animals had barely set foot on terra firma when God told Noah and his sons, “Every living thing that moves shall be food for you.”

You can practically hear the cows, pigs, chickens and turkeys saying, “Are you kidding me?”

A year ago this week, The Beet-Eating Heeb, as a service to readers and animals alike, explained why Genesis 9 doesn’t really condone meat-eating, after all.

Click on this image to see a measure of how we treat God's covenant with animals.

But BEH left out an important point, which he will rectify right this very second.

If God really approves of us killing animals by the billions, why would He say that animals are explicitly included in His covenant?

It’s right there in Genesis 9, just a few short verses after humans supposedly got a permit to open slaughterhouses. (Emphasis on supposedly.)

In Genesis 9:12, God says, "This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations.”

Every living creature is in covenant with the Divine.

God was evidently concerned that humans would want to overlook this inconvenient truth, especially when there is meat on the grill.

So God repeated the statement not once, but three additional times.

Genesis 9, Verses 15, 16 and 17 all state that God includes animals in his covenant.

Sheesh, get the hint?

God does not want us to slash the throats of animals, or to abuse them in countless and hideous other ways, as we do in modern factory farms. Not if a Divine“covenant” means anything.

By definition, God would never have included the animals in His covenant if he didn’t care about their well-being. To which you’re probably saying, “No duh,” or amen.

To take it a step further, God could have established a covenant with animals without telling humans about it. But that would defeat the purpose. The reason this covenant is repeated four times in the Torah is because He is depending on us to make it a reality.

This is fundamental to Jewish thought. We are supposed to be God’s partners in perfecting creation. We are supposed to implement God’s will.

Sadly, we haven’t just ignored the fact that animals are partners to the same covenant we have with God. As the party responsible for making the covenant a meaningful reality, we have trashed it.

In the United States alone this year, 10 billion farm animals will be killed, while another 200 million animals will be killed by hunters, 100 million more in vivisection, and another 2 million in the fur industry.

And these figures don’t measure the brutality, the cruelty, the torture and the torment that these animals experience before they are killed.

This is how we honor the Divine covenant.

Animals shouldn’t be mad at God for what He said in Genesis 9:3. Technically, He may have given humans permission to eat meat. But He made it perfectly clear that He would strongly prefer that we don’t.

The animals should be mad at humans. We have betrayed them. And in so doing, we have betrayed God and His covenant.

Fortunately, we can begin to repair this covenant with a simple step.

Go veg.

But if one sport lies beyond the reach of the March of the Vegans, it would seem to be auto racing.

Let's face it. Stock-car racing is the sport that is most closely identified with the South, with Dixie, and with all the shredded pork, barbecued beef and fried chicken that clogs arteries down there.

So The Beet-Eating Heeb is particularly happy to report that this fortress of bad-for-you, bad-for-animals, bad-for-the-planet food has been breached. Meet Leilani Munter. Vegan. Stock-car driver.

Munter may not be challenging Dale Earnhardt Jr. for supremacy in the NASCAR standings. In fact, her most recent racing has been on the lower-level ARCA circuit. But she is lapping most of her competitors in the most important race of all: the race to save the planet. And she has received more media attention than most other drivers and for all the right reasons.

A longtime vegetarian and relatively new vegan, Munter is a staunch advocate for animal welfare, clean energy, and other environmental causes. In fact, she is perhaps best-known for racing four months ago at the famed Daytona International Speedway in a stock car decorated with images from "The Cove", the Academy Award-winning documentary about dolphin slaughters.

More recently, she has been working to line up sponsors for a vegan-themed race car. (Tofurkey, are you reading this?) You won't see huge decals for Exxon or Burger King on her vehicles.

When she races, Leilani offsets the carbon emissions by donating money for rainforest preservation.

While she might not be Jewish (yet), she is a living, breathing, racing manifestation of the concept of tikkun olam. Certainly, more Jews, more of everyone, should aspire to live to a life of such moral integrity.

Leilani paid a short business trip to The Beet-Eating Heeb's hometown of Pittsburgh recently and took time out to give BEH an hour-long interview. Among other things, The Beet-Eating Heeb learned that Leilani's eldest sister is married to the Grateful Dead's Bob Weir. (In contrast, The Beet-Eating Heeb's eldest sister is married to an HMO administrator. )

Here are a few other highlights of the interview:

BEH: You’re a trailblazer as one of the very few female race-car drivers. But you’ve also distinguished yourself by using your high-profile status as a racer to promote causes, including environmentalism and veganism.

LEILANI: “I’m a messenger and I’m a race-car driver and I’m not what you would expect. People relate to me because they like race cars, so when I talk to them about veganism or clean energy or alternative fuels, there is a chance they will listen.

“You cannot have a green movement, you cannot have an environmental movement and leave behind 75 million NASCAR fans. It’s wonderful to go to vegan conferences and restaurants and be around people like you. But you’re not moving the needle by talking to people who already get it. You have to talk to the people who don’t agree with you yet.

“My goal is to make veganism mainstream. And you don’t get any more mainstream than NASCAR.

“Not everyone is going to go vegan or vegetarian, but I’m asking everyone to give it a shot. I’m hoping they’ll try Meatless Mondays and it will spill over into the rest of the week.”

Race car driver by day, vegan cook by night.

LEILANI: “Not at first. What prompted me to become a vegetarian is that I love animals. I didn’t want to be any part of the torture and killing of them. It’s just an inhumane and cruel industry and I don’t want any part of it.

“I just switched to vegan in the past year, after reading “Diet for a New America” (by John Robbins), watching (the documentary) “Forks Over Knives,” and watching Gary Yourofsky’s “Best Speech You Will Ever Hear.”

“It’s not only about animal cruelty. You have the health benefits of being vegan, you have the fact that it’s a much smaller carbon footprint for our planet, and then you have the world hunger issue.”

BEH: As a passionate environmentalist, you do make it a point to draw the connection between animal agriculture and climate change.

LEILANI: “Yes. Unfortunately, most people don’t associate their carbon footprint with the food that they eat. They really associate their carbon footprint with their traveling. For some reason, that connection between the food you’re eating and its impact on the environment hasn’t taken off yet.”

BEH: So The Beet-Eating Heeb has to ask, what’s it like being a vegan in the stock-car-racing world?

LEILANI: “There were definitely a lot of raised eyebrows when they found out I was vegetarian. I even had NASCAR people say that the lack of meat in my diet must have stunted my growth. But I’ve had many events in my house where I’ve had meat eaters in my house and I’ve fed them all kind of meat substitutes. In some cases, they didn’t even believe it wasn’t meat.

“More and more people are discovering that you don’t need to put dead animals in your body to live, you can be perfectly healthy and happy without that, and enjoy it.”

This shouldn’t surprise you: Leilani Munter is The Beet-Eating Heeb’s favorite race-car driver. Shouldn’t she be your favorite, too?

The anti-dairy position stands on at least three very sturdy legs: animal welfare, personal health, and logic.

In brief, dairy cows are continuously subjected to horrendous treatment in today’s factory farms, dairy products are inherently unhealthy, and it is logically insane for humans to be consuming something that is designed to turn a 50-pound calf into a 500-pound cow.

Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz, much admired by The Beet-Eating Heeb

Now Shmuly Yanklowitz, a crusading Orthodox rabbi, has introduced another reason to eschew dairy products, causing The Beet-Eating Heeb to kick himself for not thinking of it first.

Simply but profoundly put, Rabbi Yanklowitz opined in the pages of the Los Angeles Jewish Journal that today’s dairy products are unkosher.

He rests his argument on Exodus 22:30, which states “you must not eat flesh torn by beasts in the field.” Over the millennia, rabbinic authorities have interpreted Exodus 22:30 as a prohibition against eating a diseased animal.

Now, consider modern dairy farming. Dairy cows are repeatedly raped to induce pregnancy, confined in small stalls, and hooked up daily to milking machines, which extract about 15 times the milk that a cow would naturally produce. Worse, those machines often cause mastitis, a painful inflammation of the udder. And that’s just to name a few of the horrors.

Suffice it to say, more than a few dairy cows are diseased.

Now take a look at the cheese on your cracker or the yogurt on your granola. The milk used to produce that is usually a mixture from several different cows.

So who can possibly say that no part of their dairy products came from diseased cows?

The Beet-Eating Heeb does not pretend to be a Talmudic scholar, but it seems to him that Rabbi Yanklowitz is exactly right. Modern dairy products should not be considered kosher.

Shmuly, whose many professional titles include Senior Jewish Educator at the UCLA Hillel, isn’t the only Orthodox rabbi making this case. But much to his credit, he may be the one making it most loudly, most assertively.

In The Jewish Journal, he stated, “It seems to me that, from a halakhic standpoint, it is no longer acceptable to support the dairy industry. We must communicate to the industry how we, as kosher consumers, feel about these abuses and support healthier, more ethical options. We must also consider moving toward soy, almond, rice and coconut milk alternatives until the dairy industry cleans up its act. Today, we have affordable, healthy, tasty alternatives so it is relatively easy for us to become more ethical consumers.”

The Beet-Eating Heeb would only quibble with Rabbi Yanklowitz on one small point. Realistically, the dairy industry is not going to “clean up its act,” not unless far more human beings come to their senses and wean themselves off of dairy products altogether. While dairy consumption in the U.S. has declined significantly, the demand is still so high that the dairy industry literally cannot provide sufficient supply without industrializing the milking process. People need to be prepared to give up dairy products permanently.

That minor difference aside, The Beet-Eating Heeb applauds Rabbi Yanklowitz for challenging conventional thought and applying theology to reality. After all, that’s what Jewish theology is for.

Here’s hoping that the Orthodox rabbinate takes a close look at this dairy issue, for the sake of suffering cows.

Genesis 9:3 is the Biblical invitation to a Texas buffet. It plainly states, “Every creature that lives shall be yours to eat.”

The Beet-Eating Heeb cannot pretend that this verse doesn’t exist. In fact, faithful readers of his blog will tell you that he has never, ever stated that Judaism or Christianity prohibits meat eating.

But he is not afraid to address Genesis 9:3 head-on – and show that carnivores should take little comfort in its words.

Consider the context. In language, context matters.

For instance, if The Beet-Eating Heeb announces that he is “on fire,” it could mean that he either fell into a barbecue pit, or bowled five straight strikes.

Compare the contexts of Genesis 1:29, in which God prescribes a vegan diet, with Genesis 9:3.

Genesis 1:29 culminates the Creation story and takes place in the Garden of Eden. God describes his vegan menu as “very good.”

Flesh eaters were drowned in The Flood.

Fast forward to Genesis 9:3, which comes immediately after The Flood, in which God exterminated virtually all of humanity to put an end to its licentiousness. God was clearly not smiling when he granted Man permission to eat meat.

Indeed, it is a widespread view among rabbinic authorities that God granted this permission with profound reluctance, after sadly observing the flesh-eating ways of humans in the years before The Flood. If God were going to promise to refrain from wiping out humankind again, as he did in Genesis 9:11, He would have to lower his expectations and his standards.

In short, a carnivorous diet is clearly not God’s preference. It a God who is deeply disappointed in humankind’s behavior who authorizes meat eating.

The Beet-Eating Heeb isn’t finished dismantling Genesis 9:3.

This verse cannot be understood apart from Leviticus 11, in which the laws of kashrut are laid out. Those laws put meat-eating inside some narrow boundaries. Pork? No way. Shrimp? Not allowed. Cheeseburgers? Forget about it.

What is the overarching message of Leviticus 11? God wanted to make it difficult for us to eat meat, in hopes that we wouldn’t eat too much of it. You can only eat certain animals slaughtered under certain conditions.

But if God gave an inch, most of The Beet-Eating Heeb’s fellow Jews have taken a mile. So have a little meat once in a while, if you can’t live up to God’s highest ideals. But do you really think God wants you to be eating animals two or three times a day, seven days a week?

C’mon, man.

One last thing.

The Beet-Eating Heeb could not help but notice that life spans recorded in the Torah became dramatically shorter after God granted people permission to eat meat. Adam, for instance, didn’t check out until after his 930^th birthday, long after he had drained his 401(k). Abraham, in contrast, passed away at the tender age of 175.

Whether or not you interpret these life spans literally, the message is clear, and verified by modern scientific research: Vegetarians and vegans live longer. And The Beet-Eating Heeb would say that’s God’s will, and His clearly expressed preference.

How many vegans can you name who live in Southeastern Montana, where cattle outnumber people by a ratio of about 100-to-1? (Conservative estimate.)

Think that’s tough. Try this one:

How many religious studies professors can you name who research what our sacred texts say about the proper treatment of animals?

The Beet-Eating Heeb hates to show up his beloved readers, but he can name someone in both categories. It helps that it’s the same person.

Lisa Kemmerer, with a friend

Meet Lisa Kemmerer.

Tenure-track positions are hard to find in academia, which might explain why the professor who has written one of the most authoritative books on the intersection of animal welfare and religion is on the faculty of the Montana State University – Billings.

BEH, as one of the very few bloggers who writes about the theology of veganism, feels fortunate to have found Lisa.

Her book “Animals and World Religions” (Oxford University Press) is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the role that religion can play – make that, should play – in ending the oppression of animals.

Lisa and The Beet-Eating Heeb recently talked about her important work – and about what it’s like to be a vegan advocate in cattle country.

BEH: Lisa, what’s it like to be vegan in Billings, Montana?

Kemmerer: My social life is limited. It’s a ranching place, very conservative—not always comfortable.

I know there are other vegans out there, but they’re students, in a different space in life. They can’t provide a community for me. I don’t know any vegans in Billings that I have commonality with, and of course I simply don’t eat out.

BEH: Many of your students are cattle ranchers themselves. How do they respond when you tell them that the widespread suffering of farm animals is a violation of religious principles?

Kemmerer: I have lots of ranching students in my classes and they bristle at animal ethics. They especially bristle at hearing that what they’re doing is inconsistent with their own faith.

Why am I beating my head against a wall with a bunch of ranching students? I’m needed here. It’s not socially comfortable for me, but I think it’s necessary.

BEH: If the major religions emphasize the compassionate treatment of animals, how did we get into a situation where we’re slaughtering 9 billion farm animals in the U.S. alone?

Kemmerer: People can ruin any religion. There is no religion that teaches us that what is happening in animal agriculture is OK.

Humanity has a tendency toward ignorance of religions. We have a tendency toward selfishness. We tend to be arrogant. Between ignorance, selfishness and arrogance, we create a recipe for the dismissal of religious teachings.

The religions themselves can’t do anything. They are only powerful through believers.

In Genesis 1:29, after creating a vegan world, God said creation was “very good.” People can read these passages three times, but they aren’t hearing that the world was intended to be vegan. That’s where arrogance and selfishness come in.

One of my frustrations is that the religious community isn’t generally interested in these issues. It’s frustrating and sad because it’s so important—the suffering is so great.

BEH: The Beet-Eating Heeb knows a lot about the emphasis in Jewish texts on the compassionate treatment of animals, but what about Christianity?

Kemmerer: It is true that the Jewish tradition is rich with how to relate to nature and animals. Christians share these texts with the Jewish tradition. I wish they would pay more attention to this part of scripture. Too many Christians are ignorant of Jewish texts, but they are foundational to Christianity.

BEH: Was Jesus a vegetarian? There seems to be some debate about that.

Kemmerer: The Bible doesn’t tell us what Jesus ate. And what he ate doesn’t make much of a difference, no more than it makes a difference what Jesus was wearing on his feet.

The real question is: What would Jesus think of what we’re eating today? What would Jesus think of our slaughterhouses? No sincere Christian can say, “Those slaughterhouses are fine. Jesus would only worry about human needs and suffering.”

Jesus would not like what we’re eating today, based on the suffering of animals.

BEH: What about Islam?

Kemmerer: Though Judaism does, Christianity doesn’t have laws for the protection of animals, and Christians ignore the ones they’ve inherited from the Jewish tradition.

Islamic law is very strict with regard to animals. Muslims are supposed to satisfy the basic needs of domesticated animals, which goes right to the heart of factory farming. Animals are not supposed to be targeted in warfare; we have no right to cause animal suffering through human conflicts. These are wonderful teachings! Such direct laws are very important for the protection of animals.

Muslims tend to restrict their focus to laws governing the slaughter of animals, but this is not the only issue covered by Islamic law.

BEH: That’s a problem in Judaism, too. Sigh.

Now what about Hinduism? Many of the Hindus whom The Beet-Eating Heeb knows are vegetarian, although not vegan.

Kemmerer: Hinduism has the wonderful ideas of ahimsa (not to harm) and karma.

Hindus are ahead of most of the world’s people in terms of actually living up to some of their basic religious beliefs. But milk is a huge part of their diet, and in contemporary times milk is associated with tremendous suffering. That is something Hindus need to look in order to adhere to the central tenets of their religion.

BEH: One last question Lisa. Some people in the animal-rights and veg-advocacy movement blame religion for our society’s horrible treatment of animals. That’s the wrong place to put blame, if you ask The Beet-Eating Heeb. But if we’re ever going to have a more compassionate and merciful relationship with animals, can religion be part of the solution?

Kemmerer: Yes, religion is critical to bringing change for animals.

When I show people want’s happening on factory farms and point out how these methods are inconsistent with their most fundamental religious beliefs, they’re inclined to change — they feel compelled to change. But if you are talking to an atheist, you don’t know what their ethical code is, and they can simply say, “I don’t care.” Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus—they can’t say they don’t care. Religious teachings call us to care — require that we care.

If we’re going to talk about religion with others, we need to be informed so that we can be sensitive to the beliefs and practices of others. If we are educated, we will be more effective advocates for the animals. I would like to believe that "Animals and World Religions" can help us to be more effective in our advocacy, which is to say, I hope that this book will help bring change for animals.

Recently, two things The Beet-Eating Heeb read – one in The New York Times, one in a book called “The Pathfinder” – intersected in his mind and compelled him to think hard about the excuses people offer for rejecting veganism.

New York Times health blogger Tara Parker-Pope captured BEH’s attention with a post last year titled “The Challenge of Going Vegan.” Parker-Pope examines – some might say exaggerates – several challenges, which The Beet-Eating Heeb dissects below.

Meanwhile, “Pathfinder,” written by acclaimed career counselor Nicholas Lore, clawed its way to the top of The Beet-Eating Heeb’s book pile. BEH found himself stroking his maroon chin again and again while reading a chapter about “Yeahbuts.”

Say what?

“Yeahbuts” is the term Lore uses to describe the voice in our heads that is constantly offering us reasons to avoid change. (Example: Yeah, it’s crazy for a human to be consuming secretions from a cow’s udder, but I love cheese.)

If this incessant excuse-maker were just a voice, it would be bad enough. But as Lore points out, it is actually a powerful biological force, what scientists call homeostasis. Our bodies want to maintain their equilibrium, or the status quo.

The problem is, if you constantly succumb to that primal force, and if you constantly obey that voice in your head, you will remain forever mired in bad habits and self-destructive behavior.

Fortunately, God endowed human beings with souls, with consciousness, so that you can overcome the “Yeahbuts.” Once you become conscious of that excuse-maker in your head, it begins to lose its power over you.

So what happens when you confront “The Challenge of Going Vegan” with an awareness that there is a self-defeating voice chattering away in your head?

Let’s take a look at Parker-Pope’s Yeahbuts.

———-

P-P Yeahbut No. 1: “The struggle to give up favorite foods like cheese and butter can be made all the harder by harsh words and eye-rolling from unsympathetic friends and family members.”

THE BEET-EATING HEEB: If your friends and family members are mocking your efforts to improve your health and live more ethically, then shame on them. But this does not give you an excuse to lower your personal standards and sink to the lowest common denominator.

Internally, fortify your backbone and stand by your convictions. Externally, patiently and calmly explain the basis for abstaining from animal products. It helps to educate yourself about the health, environmental and animal-welfare benefits of veganism.

One more thing: When friends and family members roll their eyes, refrain from giving them the finger, if you can resist the temptation to do so.

———-

P-P Yeahbut No. 2: “Substitutes like almond milk and rice milk can shock the taste buds.”

THE BEET-EATING HEEB: Can something as relatively bland as almond milk “shock the taste beds?” BEH is rolling his eyes. (Somewhere, Tara Parker-Pope is sitting in front of her computer, tempted to give him the finger.)

In fairness, Parker-Pope expressed herself better elsewhere in her essay when she wrote, “it’s hard to give up favorite foods and adjust to the taste of substitutes for butter and dairy products.”

You don’t need to tell that to The Beet-Eating Heeb, who would have told you five years ago that nothing beats a carne asada burrito.

However, BEH is here to tell you that if you just stick to a vegan diet for a few months, the sound of The Yeahbuts will grow fainter in your head and your desire to consume animal products will diminish, if not disappear altogether.

———-

P-P Yeahbut No. 3: “She has to drive 20 miles to find stores with vegan specialty foods for cooking.”

THE BEET-EATING HEEB: It is true. Not everyone lives within walking distance of a store that sells nutritional yeast. Cue the violins.

What Parker-Pope doesn’t tell you is that it is exponentially easier today than it was as recently as 10 years ago to find vegan specialty foods. Rather than whine, today’s vegans should feel grateful and should bow in deep respect whenever they meet anyone who was a vegan in the 1990s or before. (So no need to bow in deep respect to The Beet-Eating Heeb.)

———–

P-P Yeahbut No. 4: “Vegan ingredients and cooking techniques can be overwhelming for beginners, even if the changes are relatively small.”

THE BEET-EATING HEEB: Parker-Pope’s Yeahbuts must be taking steroids. Again, to be fair, it is not unusual for Yeahbuts to take performance-enhancing drugs. Just listen to the Yeahbuts in your own head.

But c’mon, Tara. It’s not like switching to a vegan diet entails abandoning everything you consumed as a carnivore. Surely, you indulged in the occasional fruit or vegetable, or maybe even wolfed down some peanuts.

Sure, it behooves new vegans to look up some recipes online or maybe even buy some vegan cookbooks. Does that sound so stressful?

And if you have an exceptionally bad case of the Yeahbuts, allow yourself to gradually convert to veganism in stages. Or just try a vegan diet for a month and see how you feel.

Truthfully, The Beet-Eating Heeb has only found two lingering challenges to maintaining a vegan diet.

One is carrying around the weight of the realization that 99 percent of the population is misguided, if not downright savage, for continuing to consume animal products.

The other is the challenge of eating purely vegan outside the home, especially at the dinner tables of friends or relatives.

Other than that, you can be pretty sure that the voice in your head telling you it’s too hard to be a vegan is nothing but a nasty ol’ Yeahbut.

But The Beet-Eating Heeb is here to deliver hope.

One of the most visible Jews in the Social Media World – and these days, what other world is there? – has become a vegan. Or, as BEH likes to say, this person has joined the Great Jewish Vegan Conspiracy (1).

If you're one of the few people who is not following William @Daroff on Twitter, you must be Amish. But, regardless, The Beet-Eating Heeb is pleased to introduce you.

William Daroff at The Quiet Storm in Pittsburgh

William Daroff has twice been named as one of the top five most influential Jewish Tweeters. In February 2012, the National Jewish Outreach Program named him one of the top ten Jewish influencers in social media.

Perhaps even more significantly, Daroff holds down one of the most important jobs in organized Judaism. He is the Vice President for Public Policy and Director of the Washington Office of The Jewish Federations of North America. Simply put, he is The Washington Lobbyist for the Jewish People.

On a recent business trip to Pittsburgh, William met The Beet-Eating Heeb for lunch at one of the city’s finest vegan-friendly restaurants, The Quiet Storm.

The Beet-Eating Heeb turned on his tape recorder and captured the following conversation. Particularly, ahem, interesting was his advice for vegan advocates in Washington. He didn’t give the answer we necessarily want to hear. But is he right?

Here’s the interview:

BEH: The Beet-Eating Heeb has known you for years. When and how did you become a vegan?

DAROFF: About two years ago, my wife (a longtime vegetarian) and I were at a bookstore looking at diet books and came upon a book that my internist had recommended for me about a year before but I hadn’t paid any attention to it. It’s called “The Engine 2 Diet.”

Engine 2 Diet author Rip Esselstyn

My wife got all excited about the book and I decided I would give it a shot. In the book, (author Rip Esselstyn) has a method where he suggests slowly becoming a vegan, but I went cold turkey and immediately eliminated (all animal products) from my diet. I don’t go out of my way to avoid honey, so technically I’m what's called a beegan, which is one of my favorite terms. The only animal product I consume is honey. My wife became a vegan with me. So I’m now in a house with three vegans and a vegetarian. (They have two daughters, one a vegan, the other a vegetarian.)

What I’ve found is the medical community doesn’t even look at nutrition, especially vegan diets.

They (Rip Esselstyn and his father, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn) are behind this whole plant-strong diet that is looking at a plant-based diet as central for good health.

BEH: It’s been about 18 months now since you became a vegan? How’s it been going?

DAROFF: Right off the bat, I lost about 30 pounds and my numbers improved substantially, my cholesterol and whatnot. I sleep better, I’m much less congested. The sleep I have is much more peaceful. I feel like I don’t get colds as much as I used to. The bottom line is, I feel better.

The big factor I did not take account when I became a vegan is that egg is in everything. It’s unbelievable to me, whether it’s bread, mayonnaise, cake. That’s been an issue, trying to stay egg-free.

On the other hand, a vegan diet is very easy to meld with a kosher lifestyle. When you’re not dealing with meat, and you’re not dealing with dairy, what else is there? It makes my life much easier. I think being kosher and being vegan connect very well together.

BEH: Theologically, that isn’t a coincidence.

So you cited the book by Rip Esselstyn. Since becoming a vegan 18 months ago, have you looked into what Judaism has to say about eating meat versus plants and has that had any influence on your thinking?

DAROFF: I’ve looked at the Website of Jewish Vegetarians of North America. The part that speaks to me is the idea that, unfortunately, much of the way animals are treated by the agricultural industry, by the mass food industry, is arguably cruel. My Judaism is one that tries to treat all of God’s creatures in a way that’s compassionate. Even if the cows are not being killed cruelly, the fact that they are being killed seems to me to be not optimal. To me, even if the cow, even if the chicken, even if the pig is killed in a humane way, I still don’t think it’s good. I don’t think it’s an optimal way to treat fellow creatures.

BEH: What’s it like being a vegan in Washington?

DAROFF: Most of the time I have lunch in Washington at a restaurant it’s at the one kosher deli in Washington, which is called Eli’s. Eli’s has named a veggie burger after me, It’s called the William’s Burger, which is cute because it’s William for me, but it’s also Williamsburg, as in Brooklyn, where the Orthodox community is so strong.

I get a lot of strange looks, not just from Conservative Republicans but from liberal Democrats, too, who say, “Don’t you miss having a big chunky piece of steak?” The answer is, “Pretty much not.” I miss the ease of being able to order anything, anywhere, but to a great extent, being kosher, that wasn’t the case anyway.

Over the last year and a half, I’ve tried to dispel the idea that all vegans are hippies wearing Birkenstocks and protesting with PETA on the corner.

BEH: Not that there is anything wrong with protesting with PETA on the corner.

DAROFF: Not that there is anything wrong for the most part, depending on what PETA’s current campaign is.

BEH: Are they any vegetarians or vegans in Congress or in the upper echelons of the Administration?

DAROFF: The one who comes to mind who is a vegan is Dennis Kucinich. (Kucinich, a Democratic Congressman from Ohio, just lost his re-election bid in the Democrat primary). As far as the halls of power, nobody is immediately coming to mind.

BEH: I’ve been saving the most important question for last. As someone who is extremely effective at being an advocate in Washington, what advice would you have for the vegan and animal rights movement if they want to achieve more influence in Congress and the Administration. Right now, they certainly don’t have much.

DAROFF: That’s correct. I think it’s important to recognize that there are millions of Americans who are employed by the farming industry. To recognize that they have impact, for better or for worse, the person who is making $10-an-hour at some processing plant in Iowa would be unemployed but for that processing plant in Iowa. The political interests of that person have some validity, and that’s what a lot of the policy makers, a lot of the legislators are looking at when they’re considering USDA regulations or FDA regulations or farm supports or other policies that impact the industry.

Let me talk about PETA for a little bit. I think some of their methods of shock and awe are counterproductive and they help to further the image of the veg/vegan world of one of being crazy, Birkenstock- wearing radicals who are outside the norm.

I think to the extent that are more legitimate physicians and health professionals and people like President Clinton who are very much part of the dominant paradigm of society who are pushing the benefits of veganism and vegetarianism, that helps the movement seem more mainstream, which should help with having political power.

———————–

(1) Daroff came up with the phrase "Great Jewish Vegan Conspiracy" and gave The Beet-Eating Heeb permission to it. Thanks William!

If the Beet-Eating Heeb were to write a book, he might call it "Holy Eating."

After all, what two words better describe Jewish veganism?

So imagine The Beet-Eating Heeb's surprise (he won't say dismay) when he discovered a newly published book called "Holy Eating." And the author not only happens to be a fellow member of the Pittsburgh Jewish community, he is someone BEH is personally fond of — Dr. Robert Schwartz.

But wait a minute. The last time BEH checked, his friend Bob Schwartz was working as a sex therapist. Now he has written a book about eating?

Upon hearing about this book, The Beet-Eating Heeb immediately contacted Bob’s publicist, presented his Official Blogger Credential, and obtained a reviewer's copy.

Then BEH dove into the book, anxious to see if the author's definition of "holy eating" was veganism.

The book is subtitled “The Spiritual Secret to Eternal Weight Loss.” But The Beet-Eating Heeb knows that a well-designed vegan diet will help overweight people shed pounds.

As it turns out, “Holy Eating” is a 173-page elaboration of one big idea. And it’s the same big idea that undergirds this very blog.

Here it is: The most compelling intellectual, moral and personal reasons for behavioral change often won’t produce change at all if they don’t have a religious or spiritual component.

That’s hardly a novel concept. It is the core of 12-step addiction programs.

However, very few other diet books advocate a spiritual approach to weight loss. Similarly, very few other animal-welfare or personal-health blogs advocate a religious approach to veganism.

So The Beet-Eating Heeb is feeling some brotherly love toward Bob.

On the vegan question, though, Bob kept The Beet-Eating Heeb in suspense.

About a quarter-way through the book, in a chapter called “The Kabbalah of Eating,” Dr. Schwartz quotes another author as saying, “A Jewish mystic meditates on how the food has been created and is being kept in existence every minute by God’s will,” which leads to “mystic joy.”

You don’t need to be a Kabbalist or even Madonna to recognize that keeping animals confined in obscenely crowded conditions, then killing them about one-third of the way through their natural life span, hardly sounds like God’s will. Meditating about factory-farmed meat, milk and eggs does not lead to mystic joy.

Dr. Robert Schwartz

But Bob did not explain the type of food the Jewish mystic was meditating on.

Not until Page 137 does the good doctor broach the subject of what a holy eater should – and should not – consume. The first 85 percent of the book focuses exclusively on how much one should eat. (In a word, less.)

Bob deserves full credit for noting, as The Beet-Eating Heeb did in his March 8 post, that God’s first dietary instructions to humankind included only fruits, vegetables, nuts and grains. Animal products were not on the list of approved items.

But the definition of “holy eating” in this book does include meat. Just not much.

Dr. Schwartz strongly urges his readers to reduce their meat consumption, for health and spiritual reasons.

At the end of a chapter titled “So What Should I Eat?,” Dr. Schwartz summarizes what he calls the “essential food guidelines derived from the Bible.” Conspicuously, meat is not explicitly mentioned in his summary, while he does urge his readers to “eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grains.”

So you can see why The Beet-Eating Heeb believes Bob is heading in the right direction, even if he doesn’t quite reach the holiest destination.

BEH cuts Dr. Schwartz some slack. Equating veganism with holy eating would probably be a bridge too far for this book, considering Bob already risks alienating many readers by suggesting that obese people are spiritually deficient at mealtime.

So even if non-vegans are a couple of cards short of a full spiritual deck, as The Beet-Eating Heeb would say, Dr. Schwartz could not make that point without relegating his book to the worst-seller list.

What if you have no intention of becoming a vegan but you need to lose weight? Should you buy this book?

The Beet-Eating Heeb says yes, if …

The “if” is, if you consider yourself a spiritual person, preferably but not necessarily of the Jewish variety. If you are spiritual, invoking God consciousness while eating might indeed be your secret to eternal weight loss. Dr. Schwartz presents several approaches, including meditation, in an accessible writing style.

If you’re not a spiritual person, well, The Beet-Eating Heeb feels sorry for you, and out of sympathy will save you $15 by steering you away from this book.

By the way, BEH just thought of a name for his future book: “Holier Eating.”

It’s right there in the opening chapter of Genesis.

Discovering this changed The Beet-Eating Heeb’s life and the life of Wife of BEH, too.

Their discovery occurred on Rosh Hashanah morning, 5766, when The Beet-Eating Heebs were still meat-eating Heebs.

The morning’s service had plodded along for two hours or so when the Torah was taken from the Ark to be read. At this point, many of our fellow congregants weighed two options:

1. Head to the restroom and stay there for an extended period.

2. Doze off.

But BEH and Wife of BEH chose a third option: Actually pay attention.

When the Torah reader arrived at Verses 29 and 30 of the opening chapter, we did a double take. Here’s what it says:

And God said: ‘Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed–to you it shall be for food.

'and to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is a living soul, [I have given] every green herb for food.’ And it was so.

Every herb-yielding seed. The fruit. Every green herb. It seems filet mignon, chicken cordon bleu, and Thanksgiving turkey didn’t make the cut.

Wait. It gets better. Or very good, anyway.

In the very next verse, Genesis 1:31, it says:

And God saw every thing that He had made, and, behold, it was very good.

Not just good, mind you. Very good.

And that’s very significant.

G-d evaluates his creation seven times in the first chapter of Genesis. On the first six occasions, he gives His handiwork a rating of “good.”

Only after giving Adam and Eve a vegan menu does G-d utter “very good,” or, in Hebrew, “tov m’ode”.

It’s painfully obvious. G-d wants us to eat fruit, vegetables, nuts and grains. Period.

Bible-literate carnivores, please hold your fire. The Beet-Eating Heeb knows what you’re going to say. And he is going to address those arguments in future blog postings.

For now, suffice it to say that BEH and Wife of BEH looked at each other (lovingly) that Rosh Hashanah morning five years ago and simultaneously decided to become vegetarians.

That was their beginning.

The Beet-Eating Heeb is here to save the day! Or at least to fill a void.

Blogs devoted to vegan and vegetarian Judaism have all but vanished.

Consider:

Heeb ‘n’ Vegan, once a thriving place in cyberspace, hung an “out-of-business” on its door in 2010.

Shalom Veg, another favorite of meat-abstaining Jews, has gone months without posting new content.

The last thing the world needs is another blog. Except in this case.

As interest in all things vegan and vegetarian continues to grow, the Beet-Eating Heeb (BEH for short) has plenty of information to share, issues to discuss, and people to interview.

BEH has ambitious plans for this site. In fact, he originally named this blog “The Ambitious Beet-Eating Heeb.” But Wife of BEH astutely noted that “Beet-Eating Heeb” is hard enough to say.

So what is so ambitious about this blog? Here is some of what you can expect to find here in the weeks and months ahead:

• A serious examination of what the Torah has to say about food. The laws of kashrut matter, but there is much more.

• A curating and analysis of news about relevant food issues. The Beet-Eating Heeb spent 18 years in journalism, so he knows how to spot a good story, presumably.

• Interviews with rabbis, food experts, activists, vegans, vegetarians, flexitarians, pescatarians and carnivores. But BEH draws the line at freegans. (Google it. You’ll understand.)

• A dose of humor. While the consequences of industrial food production are rather sobering, The Beet-Eating Heeb still enjoys a chuckle as much as the next beet-eating guy.

• BEH is a busy guy, what with a day job, a family, and even a grad-school class. But there is so much to talk about, so much to digest (pun intended), and so much at stake, he is committed to posting on the Jewcology site at least once a month.

He hopes to see you often.